Adding it all Up to Make a Perfect Match...

Now that I’ve written a blog article about post-divorce dating “issues”, I’ve decided to investigate further into the world of computer dating. I’m not interested in dating via the World Wide Web yet, but I figure preparation in any situation is key.

I personally know at least four couples who have met through an on-line service like match.com or eHarmony.com. These folks are either happily married, or happily living together after at least two years or more since being matched with one another.
One couple I know has been with her "match" hubby since 2001. That’s a pretty good period of time.

I decided to browse through the match.com site and see what kind of questions are asked of potential suitors of either sex, and also, who is available out there and is looking to find “the perfect mate.”

In order to just “view” profiles, you must first join - and it’s free - but you are required to start a profile of your own. You can put in as little or as much info as you want all the way up to adding photos and answering tons of questions to help narrow down your search and weed out those who might not quite be your cup of tea.

Once on the site, you can ask for a “chemistry match” or just browse on your own to find someone who appeals to you. Wow! There are hundreds and hundreds of men in WA (in the Seattle area) looking for a match. Who knew? (I'm sure there are as many women, as well, I just wasn't looking at women to date).

Lots of the questions were very general, (eye color, hair color, height, weight) and went as far as asking things like “What do you want in your ideal mate?” 

As I thought about this, I remembered how, not too long ago, people used to take out personal ads in the classified section of the paper; this was WAY before we had computers. (Remember the song “Do You Like Pina Coladas?” aka “Escape?” It was a song about an unhappy couple who took out secret classified ads looking for the perfect match and ended up finding each other again because the other's ad appealed to each of them. Their life had just become mundane and boring - like lots of couples I know - and they wanted to be "happier" and "in love". Voila! By the end of the song, there they are - facing their perfect match - who was right in front of them all along.)

Anyway, remembering the newspaper ad era also reminded me of other big questionnaires I used to fill out that were important - like the ones in sixth grade when my friend MaryBeth would pass me a whole list of questions she had made up on a sheet of notebook paper, and it was my job to answer back. A standard "survey" paper went like this:
FILL IN THE BLANKS AND THEN PASS BACK!!!
TOP SECRET!
What is your name? _______
What color is your hair? _______
What color are your eyes? _______
Who is your favorite singer?_______
Who do you like in this class? (boys, please)._______
Which teacher do you like the most? _______
Which teacher do you hate the most and why? _______

We had fun taking these “surveys” and passed them around to each other. Sometimes if we were lucky enough, a boy would steal the list, and pass it on to other guys in the class, all under the teacher’s nose. I say “if we were lucky” the papers were stolen because if I liked, say, Joe Blow, I’d be thrilled that he’d see my survey and KNOW I liked him. That always took the pressure off so that I wouldn't have to drop subtle hints to him myself. I was about age 11. I wasn’t really good at subtle hints then, and am not, still, at age 46.

I came up with a list of questions last night, as if I might be placing a new ad today. Whether it be match.com, a newspaper ad, or a teen “survey” my profile might look like this:

Name: Maureen
Nicknames: Mo, Reeny, Moose
Age: 46 ⅚
Eyes: Green (-475 though - so blind as a bat without contacts/glasses - FYI).
Height: 5’1 ½”
Weight: NEVERMIND
Body Shape: Pear Shape w/spider veins on legs, but Hey! Great smile! : -)
Hair Color: This week: Medium Auburn Brown #5B, Miss Clairol permanent color
Sign: Aries (Still! New thirteen-month celestial b.s. Horoscope be damned!)
Family Information: Severly dysfunctional, but loving and well-intentioned
Children: Yes, and they live at home, and are in school. Elementary school, NOT college.

Personal Information:
Likes: Sleep, sleep, more sleep, and chocolate
Dislikes: Insomnia and getting up to get my kids up for school. (Got 15 years of that left, mind you.)
Turn Ons: A guy who vacuums
Turn Offs: A guy who doesn’t vacuum
Prized Possessions: My divorce decree, my children, and my sense of humor
Favorite Toys: (can’t say here; ask me later after we meet in person)
Job: In between jobs at the moment. Budding neurotic; bring on the straight-jacket!
Goals: To still have my own teeth when I’m 80/To live past 80
Future plans: Never get married again, but live happily in sin with another non-church goer

Looking for:
A man who vacuums, has his own car, a job and money to put gas in his own car.

Well, whaddya think? Will I get any bites? I'm thinking that this'll do it. I don't have great expectations, and heck, I've got that smile; I think I'm a catch, don't you? LOL!

Cheerth!