Ground Control to Space Cadet: Living on Auto Pilot...(Still)

Two weeks ago, I received a call from a good-looking man I know that I hadn't seen in a long time.
He was going to be in my "neck of the woods" and wondered if he could "stop by for coffee."
Of course, I was thrilled to hear from him, and looked very forward to his visit the next day.

It is amazing what we women will go through to prepare for a date with a guy.
We have to look our best and "dress to impress." In order to do that, we might take a long shower or soak in a hot bath, and of course, and most importantly, we absolutely must shave our legs!
We might then put on some body lotion, add a little perfume, wear our best makeup, top it all off with a nice outfit, and VOILA! We are ready to make a great impression.

Man, a good looking guy was coming over to my apartment! A real guy!
A date!
For some coffee, but heck, a date is a date, right?
So, the next morning, in the middle of my shower I was thinking,"Hmmm, I'm expecting company! Male company! I'll need to look extra good today! As a matter of fact, I'd better shave my legs, too! I mean, I know it's just coffee, but you never know!"

Suddenly, a horrible thought occurred to me:

        "Oh my dear God! I am shaving my legs. For a date.
         With my BROTHER?"

         HELLO???????????

         Reality struck. I was J U S T   S H A V I N G  M Y  L E G S  for my brother?
         It was like when I blindly loaded the coffeemaker with bread crumbs just a few months ago,
         instead of coffee grounds.
  Yes, I am living on Auto-Pilot circling around Planet LOSER!
         Ground control to who?
         Is anyone home, Maureen?
         More importantly, will anyone ever be home?

I knew then, at that moment, when I realized that I was shaving my legs for my little brother's visit, that I was helpless and hopeless; a lost soul in the world of single, hairy-legged women.
Who in the world shaves their legs for a coffee date with their brother?


Only ME, only ME, only ME!

And to make matters worse, once I knew that I was in the horrid "Preparation pattern for take off" that I had been in all my life whenever I was waiting for a date, that I was the most ridiculous woman on the planet.
Oh, and did I mention that I got blown off, too, by that charming little brother who I so lovingly shaved my legs for?
To his credit, at least he was kind enough to call and cancel our date.  He "wasn't going to make it after all"; he was "going to catch an earlier flight back to California." Maybe he'd "see me at the end of next month" when he's in my "neck of the woods" again.

Dumped like a hot potato, for a plane ride home. BY MY BROTHER.
Is my life going to be like this forever?
Probably not, but it's a funny story - one I suppose I'll laugh about in a few years when I actually have a date with someone who is NOT related to me and I have a life.

So, little brother, just for blowing me off,  I want you to know that I will make a point of not shaving my legs for you at the end of next month when you come to Washington!
(That is, if you ever show up).
So there!

Hair's to ya!

Cheerth!