Alone At Christmas? Maybe Not Such a Bad Thing After All...

Since this will be my first "official" year as a single person in, like, 20 years, I get to spend Christmas alone.

My kids will be with their Dad from Christmas Eve on until after the New Year. Since I will miss the kids opening their gifts from Santa, I wanted to look at the positives of what I won't be missing. (This is how I use optimism to cope).

I have many, many girlfriends who have been married for a long time. We've compiled a list of the WORST Christmas presents we've ever received from our spouses. Here are just a few of the things I can look forward to NOT getting for Christmas this year:

A toaster

An iron

A Waterpik

A blender

A mixer

A fire Extinguisher for the kitchen

An emergency roadside kit for the car

Facial Wax treatments for the home

A washer

A dryer

A washer/dryer combo

Pots

Pans

Dishes

Underwear (and I mean Hanes, not Victoria's Secret)

An expensive raiser for shaving legs and armpits

Pornographic movies with "girl on girl" action

Pornographic doo-dads for use in the bedroom. 

            (Wait - let me re-think that one...)

Anyway, you get my drift. 

Never again will I get an unwanted appliance from the man I share my home with, because the only man I share my home with is seven. I might be more likely to get a Matchbox car instead, and I like Matchbox cars (as long as it is a porsche and comes complete with tiny, good-looking, rich and also MUTE doctor inside). I'll check with my son to see if this is on his list for gifts for MOM.

It will be hard not being with my kids this year, but another optimistic way of looking at this is that I get to sleep in and eat Santa's cookies myself. No one will ever know!

Costco was selling fleece sheets, I bought some. (Because when you sleep alone, it's important to be comfy and warm). I can lay in these, Christmas Eve, watching some chick show I taped because I could. Maybe I'll do this while wearing a Santa Hat; maybe I won't. It's my decision, no matter which way you slice it.

If I need a little testosterone, I can certainly watch football. Wait - is there football on Christmas Day? I can't remember. I'll have to find a guy to ask.

Well, either way, I'll be alone. I'll get to do whatever I want. It won't be laundry, dishes, or, most importantly, smiling when I get that all-too-handy gift of the convenient and oh-so-hard-to store deli slicer that I NEVER WANTED. 

Ahhh, things are looking up.

Cheerth!