Good Suction is a Powerful Thing!

Yesterday's Blog was all about vomit and mini-vans and other such "car nonsense."

Well, I decided today that if it weren't for my daughter vomiting in my car once a year, it would never be THOROUGHLY cleaned! Gabby is actually doing me a favor by getting sick in the back seat from time to time!

So, today I set out on a mission: Clean the gummy fruit/strawberry milk vomit from the van.

I took my son Josh with me. He's good company.

First, before leaving home, I emptied ALL the accumulated miscellaneous CRAP I keep in the back of the van. I took my big 99¢ plastic 15 gallon Ikea bag that I keep scrunched up in the back out of the car. I put it on the driveway, and just piled in EVERYTHING I could find. Clothes from Christmas that need to be dropped off at the cleaners (2.5 months ago), a bag of toys for the kids (just in case we get stranded/bored/end up at a child-free home). There are what I call "car blankets" - these are strictly for road trips and night time when the kids doze off after a long day in the car. There was also just a small amount of trash back there...

Then I pulled out all the floor mats, rubber and carpet, and hosed some off, dropped some others in the washer. 

We hit the car wash - one I'd never been to. I pumped gas, got a car wash pin number, then went to the vacuuming station. I had brought with me a bottle of Windex. Windex is good for ANYTHING. So, I proceeded to pick up trash I could see, then used Windex on the windows (its main job); the dash, the floor boards, and, of course, the vomited gummy fruit that was stuck to the carpet. Once I got it up, I just "Windexed" the offending spot. Not because I thought Windex would de-spot, but because, heck, it has an odor, so I used it as an odorizer on the carpet!

I put $1.50 in quarters in the vacuum machine - there was a "Turbo Clean" setting which was lots of power but less vacuum time, and "Super Clean" which was more time with more power. I knew this was going to be a tough job. I picked "Super Clean."

First, I unwound the vacuum hose. I put the quarters in and started on the passenger side. Josh is in the back of the van, humming. 

Once my quarters kick in and that vacuum goes on, I can't believe how much suction it has! I mean, I do only clean cars once a year, so I'm not an expert, but really, I've NEVER, EVER, seen suction like this! I sucked up a pen I didn't know was there, under the driver's seat. No jam, no nothing! I found food from 6 months ago - how do I know? That was the last time I bought Fruit Loops.  As a matter of fact, this suction was so strong that I thought the tires might pop up through the van floor. I kept telling Josh, "WOW - this thing is amazing!" I needed six more quarters. That bought me an additional five minutes. I got to the driver's side door, and started to vacuum, when suddenly, somehow, the top attachment to the device flew off and the vacuum hose became like a fire hose! It hit me square in the nose! Almost knocked me out! Then I started laughing at this like a looney tune...Only I,  "LUCKIEST" girl in the world, would get attacked by a rogue vacuum.

I got to the back of the van. I was finding lots of "debris." Suddenly Josh says, "HEY MOM, YOU ONLY HAVE 1 AND 23 LEFT! Hurry Mom, or this car will never get clean again!  Then he starts yelling "1 and 15, 1 and 14, etc., etc., etc., counting down for me.

 

At least, when the vacuuming ended, the car was clean. Not immaculate, but vomit-free and garbage free. There was a young woman attendant there. I just had to tell her this: "You know, I really don't get fired up about much, but this is the best damn vacuum I've seen, EVER.  And cheap!" 

This just goes to show you how exciting my life is - that I get turned on by a really, really, powerful vacuum and a semi-clean car. 

Oh my God, what the h*ll has become of my life? HELP!!!!!